Dying isn’t cool to begin with. It’s not something you usually do on purpose. For me, I hope to die like my grandfather: peacefully, in my sleep. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Well, the folks over at The Phat Phree have given us a list of the 50 most embarrassing ways to die.

Some of them are just plain ridiculous. “Getting crushed by poorly-mounted plasma TV over your bed” and “Like Goose in Top Gun” just aren’t too likely to happen, faulty eject buttons notwithstanding in both cases.

Other items on the list like “Getting decapitated by a plane propeller during a fight with Indiana Jones” and “Getting shot by someone in the A-Team” just sound like cool ways to die. I mean, Indiana FREAKIN Jones? If you gotta go, that’s the way to do it. Of course, we’re talking about the Pre-Crystal Skull Indiana Jones. I’ll concede that getting decapitated during a fight with the current old Indiana Jones would be at least a little embarrassing. Although *spoiler alert* he did survive a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator.

Some of these events are more than likely to happen on a regular basis. Not a year goes by I don’t read about someone being mauled to death while getting their picture taken with a tiger. And while the MTV-sympathetic media doesn’t want to tell you, there are hundreds of deaths every day due to re-enacting stunts from “Jackass.” Oh, and we won’t even broach the issue of “Getting your head cut off by a Hall of Fame running back.”

We’ll ignore the religiously-motivated items on the list, like “As a suicide bomber” and “Drowning during your Born-Again baptism.” After all, we wouldn’t want to make a martyr out of anyone.

We’ll also let go of some of the more disturbing items, too. No one wants to think about “Getting sodomized by a horse,” “Bleeding out following an adult circumcision” or “Whichever way Carrot Top dies.”

Of course, the most disturbing item on this list is #49: Old Age. The Phat Phree remind us to “Get out there and do something. How humiliating is it to have spent 70+ years on this planet and not have done anything exciting enough to kill you.”

Just make sure you’ve got enough life insurance to send your kids to college after you’re gone.

Photo via Mitch2742