There are some sick freaking people out there. Take, for example, the funeral director in Texas who was charged last October with violating a corpse. The allegations are that the man “touched the cadaver with his penis.” The crime is a misdemeanor, and the man was released and asked to pay a $1,500 fine.

Even if your funeral director isn’t a disgusting freaking pervert, there are other concerns. One news story recently suggested that, as the economy tightens, some funeral directors are turning to unlawful practices such as cremating bodies that are supposed to be buried.

The kicker of it is this: once you’re dead, there’s not a damn thing you can do about any of it. Your family (and your corpse) is at the mercy of your funeral director. All the life insurance in the world can’t make up for these kinds of abuses.

So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you can pick your funeral director wisely. Here are some tips to make sure you pick someone who’s going to be considerate of your family and treat your body with the respect you deserve after you’ve left it:

Ask for referrals. The best way to find a funeral director is to ask others about their experience. If your great uncle passed away last year, talk with your great aunt about her experience. Find out whether she, and the rest of the family, were satisfied with the funeral director (as well as the cemetery personnel or others involved in interment).

Ask for references. Contact some of the local funeral homes and ask if they have clients you can speak with. Most of the time, they’ll be able to provide some references of folks they’ve helped in the past.

Make your wishes known. Talk to your family about your funeral arrangements. Consider putting specific final requests in writing, or even in your will.

Consider pre-planning your funeral. The last thing you want your family to have to do when you’ve passed away is to deal with planning your funeral. Instead, you may be able to pre-plan and even pre-pay for your funeral. You’ll save your family plenty of time and frustration, and you may even save some money on the expenses by buying them at today’s prices rather than whatever they cost after you’re gone. That way, the proceeds from your term life insurance can go to settling your estate and making sure your family’s needs are met, rather than your final expenses.

Photo via Sarah.Epps